Acrimony – 2018

Score: 3/10

This one is very weird. The final score could have very easily been a 9 instead of a 3. Because in Acrimony, the thing that bothered me the most was the story and especially how that story panned out in the end. This movie starts off with what you think is the hero, the protagonist, a woman that has been wronged and that just wants to fight back. But by the end you discover that she is the idiot all along and that she is actually the true villain. And that revelation doesn’t come in a big twist or a shock, no, it comes gradually, it comes on as very infuriating and it actually damages your viewing experience.

The story is the problem here, because it doesn’t understand itself. Everything seems to be conflicted, there are no clear points the movie is trying to make, nothing makes sense and the realism suffers because of it. I don’t doubt that there are a lot of stupid people out there that would act in the same way, but that does not make it ok or even tolerable. The fact that people are often idiots should not encourage movies to glorify such idiocy, because seeing people act out in a moronic fashion doesn’t make the viewers want to identify with them, it makes the viewers hate them and by extension, the movie itself.

The characters are the one redeeming aspect of this film, because the performances are up to par and interesting. You start caring about the seemingly bad character at the start of the film and you end up actually rooting for him towards the end. The problem is that again, the script tells everybody to act so unnatural that it hurts me to even remember certain scenes. Nevertheless, good performances here from Taraji P. Henson,  Ajiona Alexus, Lyriq Bent, Antonio Madison, Crystle Stewart, Danielle Nicolet, Jay Hunter, Terayle Hill and Jazmyn Simon.

Tyler Perry is a weird director, and his movies always have something about them that feels off, in a good or a bad way. Here unfortunately it is the latter as it seems this movie never gets out of trying too hard to be special. Even in the trailer the atmosphere is far too dark and crowded and it seems to suffocate any ounce of joy from the experience. I get that this is a movie basically about mental illness, but the way it gets to that conclusion is unnecessarily convoluted and ultimately boring. You have to sit through one pointless scene after another in order to finally see something happening and when that does eventually happen towards the end, you are left disappointed with the conclusion.

From a filming point of view, this one is a total fiasco. Many of the scenes are way too dark, I mean Godzilla level dark, and at the same time, everything feels so static. Characters are simply talking amongst themselves while sitting somewhere and I get that this is a Tyler Perry staple, but unfortunately, where as in the Madea series this works because the dialogue is funny and maybe even engaging, here there are only banalities being said and that really makes you question this choice. Nothing happens and that is totally unacceptable!

In conclusion, Acrimony is not a movie I would recommend. It is far too long, it has too much filler to make it engaging and it ends with one of the worst conclusions I have ever seen on the big screen. It could have been much better if it had some kind of a statement in the end, but unfortunately it tried to be too many different things at once. Tyler Perry is not a bad director but he should focus on what he does know and leave the rest to somebody else. Oh and seriously, when you throw somebody in the water and then they emerge after 5 minutes from that water completely dry, you done fucked up movie, you done fucked up!

Geostorm – 2017

Score: 4/10

I wanted to like this movie, I truly wanted to like it. But, unfortunately, Geostorm is a bad disaster film, a copy paste of so many others before it but without the fun parts. It is far too serious, it is filled with plot bots that really stick out and overall, my experience was bad. I felt that I wasted 109 minutes of my life and I would not watch it again. So feel free to just read this review and skip this one, you will not lose anything.

The story is bad, full of clichés and it is the one element in this movie that totally destroys it. Everything moves at a blistering pace and everything seems to happen just because the script says it has to. The evil plan is beyond stupid, there are many inadvertences and you simply can’t connect with what happens. Towards the end you discover that you are simply not invested in the outcome at all and in a movie that is supposed to be about preventing the destruction of the entire world, that is catastrophic.

The characters are the one interesting thing about this movie. They are engaging, and that is mainly because the cast is filled with big stars. And even though it seems over the top in parts, the personal stuff that is going on ends up being the most interesting thing about this movie. The actors do a good job and I have to give credits to Gerard Butler, Jim Sturgess, Abbie Cornish, Ed Harris, Andy García, Richard Schiff, Alexandra Maria Lara, Robert Sheehan, Eugenio Derbez, Adepero Oduye, Amr Waked, Daniel Wu and Zazie Beetz.

The special effects are amazingly bad, and I simply don’t understand that considering the huge budget that this movie had. If 120 million dollars are not enough to make a fire look realistic than I seriously don’t know what we are all doing here. They took me out of the movie and I actually rolled my eyes in so many instances that they hurt. It is truly a sad thing to make a movie about the destruction of cities around the world and to be unable to make this destruction appear majestic or at least interesting. This I think is the biggest failure of the film and that’s a shame, considering that amazing effects were the only thing that could have saved this from being the box office bomb that it was…

The message of the movie was another very annoying aspect of it. I get it Hollywood, I get it, the end is coming, we didn’t listen. But seriously, can you people just stop hammering this to death? Yes, I get it, global warming and shit, but it’s getting old. This is like the 10^th movie that focuses on the same shit in the last 20 years, it is starting to wear thin and it is actually becoming annoying. I like grand scale disasters in movies, I love special effects, but at least try to find more plausible and interesting premise than global warming. It’s been done already too many times to be entertaining and the overall reactions to this one prove it. Just move on Hollywood, move on! I hear zombies are a thing J)))

In conclusion, Geostorm is a bad movie, and unfortunately it can’t be saved by the good performances from the cast. The story is full of clichés, we have seen it before countless times, and the effects just make everything worse. This movie could have been so much better but in the state that it is, it is just a worse The Day After Tomorrow, 2012, The Core or… Take your pick, it is just worse… Oh, and also, I’ve said it before and I will keep on saying it until you people understand: WEATHER DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY!

Den of Thieves – 2018

Score: 7,5/10

Have you heard about the Grand Theft Auto series? Did you enjoy your time with those games? Did you wish for a movie to feature events from those games? Well, than you are in luck. Den of Thieves is exactly that, a mission from Grand Theft Auto 5. I am not joking, in its 140 minutes, this movie offers you scene after scene straight from the video game. And don’t get me wrong, this is not based on GTA. But the final heist from the game is done here step by step. It was actually creepy and amazing at the same time.

The story is as I said, a copy paste of a GTA game. You get everything here, from the shooting range to the car chases and armored car hijackings right up the Union Depository job and the strip joints. Oh, and I forgot to mention tattoos and drama involving children and wives. Overall, if you enjoy video games and you are a fan of the GTA franchise, you will love this movie and you will want to play those games again.

The characters are interesting, although the attempts at development fall flat. You don’t actually care about any of the backstories and that can ruin your experience if you are looking for something like that from this one. I wasn’t and so I can’t say I was annoyed by the lack of real depth to the characters. Nevertheless, the actors are all on their game and offer up great performances. Kudos to Gerard Butler, Pablo Schreiber, O’Shea Jackson Jr., 50 Cent, Evan Jones, Cooper Andrews, Maurice Compte, Dawn Olivieri, Jermaine Rivers, Matthew Cornwell and Eric Braeden.

The twists and turns of the action are a nice touch and you will end up actually surprised by the end. But at the same time, it does make the movie feel stuffed and difficult to enjoy, because you have to always be on your guard in order to understand the twists before they happen. I think they overdid it in part and I really hope the sequel will be a little bit more straightforward so we can actually enjoy the action parts more.

One amazing thing about this movie that I have to point out are the gun sounds. I have never seen a better representation of gun sounds in a movie. You actually feel that you are a part of a gun fight. Every weapon sounds real, everything clicks together and the lack of background music in some of the action scenes enhances that feeling. It is a treat to simply listen to this movie and I have to say it is truly a strong point.

Like so many heist films before it, this one is also unfortunately far too long. This is because the actual heist is a singular event that can’t be stretched out too much. And this is why they have to introduce back stories, they have to introduce families, children, wives and all the usual props. Unfortunately, here they simply do not matter and do not offer any important resolutions. We see the main character separating from his wife and yet this doesn’t factor at all in the conclusion of the movie. And it’s the same with all the other characters. We get too see their personal lives and you get the distinct impression that all those scenes are simply filler. Which in a movie that is almost 2 hours and a half is simply unacceptable.

Despite its shortcomings, Den of Thieves is actually a very enjoyable movie that I can highly recommend. You will be invested in the story, you will remember a lot of heist classics like Ocean’s Eleven or The Italian Job and you will actually relate with many of the characters. It is a good movie and one worth seeing more than once, especially after you will discover the huge twist at the end. A good effort from director Christian Gudegast and I can honestly say that I am excited by the announced sequel. I hope they will actually tell me who the bad guys really are in that one though… J And now I have to go and play GTA 5 again, so thank you for that movie, thank you for that… J))

Maze Runner: The Death Cure – 2018

Score: 2/10

My God this movie is boring. Horribly long at 142 minutes and boring to the point I had to actually see it in two days just to be able to go through it with my sanity still intact. Maze Runner: The Death Cure is the disappointing ending to a franchise that never managed to pick up the steam that it wanted to pick up. For me, it was bad from start to finish and although I had hoped that maybe, just maybe this last chapter would somehow redeem it, I was left wondering again how they could serve us such a crappy and illogical story, especially given that the source material is actually very nice and engaging.

The story is bland, convoluted and it doesn’t stand on its own at all. What do I mean by this? Well, if you haven’t seen the previous two movies it is almost impossible to understand anything from this one. I have seen them and even I was lost at certain points. You might say that this is normal because it’s a franchise and what not. But no, this is stupid, because this puts off people. If you want to see this movie as a standalone and you know you will understand nothing if you don’t watch the other 2 120+ minutes bore fests that preceded it, you will give up very fast. The big franchises do exactly the opposite, as you can actually see movies from LOTR, Star Wars, Marvel and many other similar series on their own and you will still enjoy them.

The characters are bland, boring, their motivations are stupid, they don’t resonate. You will not care about them, and that in turn will lead to you not caring about the story, which for a movie that supposedly ends a franchise is very bad. I could not care less about who lived and who died and none of the characters related to me in any way. Which is a shame, considering that Dylan O’Brien, Kaya Scodelario, Thomas Brodie-Sangster, Dexter Darden, Nathalie Emmanuel, Giancarlo Esposito, Aidan Gillen, Walton Goggins, Ki Hong Lee and Jacob Lofland do try a lot to offer you emotions and make you invested.

The effects were a huge let down for me. I expected something epic and in turn all we got here were action scenes in dark places and a small scale altogether. Considering the fate of the entire world is at stake, the scene should have definitely been bigger. I mean for fucks sake, the last Resident Evil was better in that regard and that tells you a lot. Maybe it was because of the small budget or maybe they just wanted to end this series and be done with it, but this was the overall feeling I got, that nobody cared enough in order to try harder. Such a shame!

The clichés and story problems in this movie are too many to count, and they manage to affect the overall feel. You can’t be invested in a universe in which nothing happens as it should and you will be left scratching your head about many of the decisions that the main characters make. In fact, the whole idea on which this trilogy is based was done so poorly that you can’t stop and wonder how in the normal world, the conflict would have been resolved ages ago and without so much drama.

In conclusion, Maze Runner: The Death Cure is one of the most bland science fiction action films I have ever seen. It is far too long, the special effects are nothing to speak about, the action scenes are full of clichés, it has problems with the story, the lighting. Everything seems just off about this movie and you don’t even get a satisfying ending in order to justify sitting through it. I mean honestly, if I want to see Littlefinger doing Littlefinger stuff I can just watch Game of Thrones and be done with it. And seriously, when will zombie movies stop? I am tired of zombie movies and zombie video games and zombie anything… I am all zombied out so please Hollywood, enough with the zombies already…

Downsizing – 2017

Score: 5/10

This movie lied to us, or, more specifically, the trailer did. It promised comedy, an interesting subject, a great cast and funny moments. But instead, Downsizing is something totally different. It is a drama, it has deep subjects, it tackles controversial themes and, worst of all, the only humorous moment comes at the end with the Vietnamese girl and the different types of fuck. It is far too little and that is why unfortunately, this was a very big disappointment for me.

The story is the one good thing about this movie, but unfortunately, not the entire story. The background is amazing, the backstory of the universe is interesting, but unfortunately that is where all the good things stop. If this was a science paper about an interesting prospect in the world of genetics, than yes, it would have gotten a 10 out of 10. But alas, it is a movie and because of that, I would have expected a lot more. There are no stakes here, none whatsoever, and that means you can never truly get involved and care about things. A shame…

The characters are bland, boring and they don’t manage to engage you at all. Unfortunately, I couldn’t relate to any of them, because they seem as simple clichés that are there only to send out a specific message. And while that message could be interesting, its delivery is not and that hurts the overall quality of the experience. A shame, considering the big names in the cast like Matt Damon, Christoph Waltz, Hong Chau, Kristen Wiig, Jason Sudeikis, Maribeth Monroe, Udo Kier and Rolf Lassgård.

There is a lot of social commentary here, and while most of it is interesting and on point, it gets a little bit too much, especially towards the end. The movie seems more like a manifest and while I get what the director wanted to do here, unfortunately, it doesn’t work. In order to make the problems of the world you have created really matter, first you have to make the audiences interested in that world and its characters. I couldn’t care less about every single character in this movie and that is why all the social commentary left me bored out of my mind. Before you can make me think about what happens in your universe, be sure to create that universe in an appealing and interesting way. Otherwise, it is just useless!

There is nothing actually happening here, and that is amazing considering that we are talking about a 135 minute long movie. There is no action, there is no villain, and there is no plot points that develop over time. The movie is bland to the core and because of that, all the deep themes and meditations appear empty. When you don’t care about anything that is on screen it is very hard to take a film seriously and to wonder about the important questions that it raises. Watching a character lead a normal and boring life does not equal box office success as this one proves once again…

In conclusion, Downsizing could have been an interesting movie, because the story will make you think and ponder about yourself and the human race in general. But is it a good movie? I can answer honestly here that no, unfortunately, it is not a good movie and you will be no doubt bored towards the end. The story is a deep meditation but nothing more than that, since nothing of note actually happens. It is like a circle that goes around but never amounts to anything. You will not care about anything and that is truly a shame, since the subject could have been treated far much better. Oh, but seriously, always be careful what type of fuck you give to girls… The love fuck is always best I was told… 😛

Phantom Thread – 2017

Score: 6/10

Why do people insist on making movies that are this long? Why? Seriously, did Phantom Thread really need to be 130 minutes long considering that you could easily cut half of that out without it having any impact on the story? It is sad and it makes for a terrible viewing experience because you feel that some scenes are simply there in order to fill up the movie. They transmit nothing and they are filmed in such a manner that they actually make you care less about the characters. It is depressing and it is a shame that such good acting performances where dragged down by a stuffed script…

The story is boring, and this happens simply because it tries to be so deep and preachy and special. Movies can be art, but when a certain film tries so hard to achieve that status, you get the exact opposite effect. This one did not manage to engage me at all, because every single scene was constructed in order to show deep and powerful things that hide behind the surface. That might sound intriguing, and it is, if it happens from time to time. But if all that happens is this, after a while, you stop caring about it.

The characters are good, and this is why this movie is worth seeing. Every single actor does a terrific performance, and Daniel Day-Lewis, in what is I hope NOT his last role, is truly brilliant. His method acting is well known and he manages to bring credibility and realism to the screen and strait into the hearts of the audience. He is supported very well by a talented cast and we should all praise performances from Vicky Krieps, Lesley Manville, Camilla Rutherford, Gina McKee, Brian Gleeson, Harriet Sansom Harris, Lujza Richter, Julia Davis and Nicholas Mander.

The big problem with this movie is that it is very specific, it is deep, it tries to tackle issues that very few people can relate with. I mean seriously, if you can’t stand someone putting butter on a slice of bread at breakfast, you are not an artist, you are not special, you have a mental illness and you should go get yourself checked out. This is why I couldn’t get invested at all in the movie and this is why it did not prove to be the hit that everyone was expecting it to be.

The box office results prove once again that, maybe unfortunately, these movies don’t work anymore. Modern audiences need something more, they need something that is exciting. The pacing here is very slow and you have to really be patient in order to get anything out of it. In the age of social media and Instagram, it is hard to expect your audiences to be patient, and instead of directors moaning and bitching about it, maybe, just maybe, they should adapt and try to compromise their principles a little bit. Otherwise, we will see less and less of these movies getting made, and that is a shame.

In conclusion, Phantom Thread is a movie that you should see. But you should not expect it to really pop on screen, you should not expect it to make you jump out of your seat. It is a solid effort in terms of acting and if you are a fan of cinema in general and of the craft, you will find a lot of things to love here. Overall, it is a movie made for critics and one that made mass audiences feel a little bit left out. Still, you should see it, at least for Daniel Day-Lewis’s sake, although I have to say I would have wanted his career to finish with a better overall movie. Oh, and never eat poisonous mushrooms, no matter how much you love someone… I mean seriously, just don’t do that…

Brawl in Cell Block 99 – 2017

Score: 4/10

Have you ever seen a movie that has almost no music? Well Brawl in Cell Block 99 is exactly that. It is a movie bereft of music and, unfortunately, bereft of any fun. It is one of the most depressing films I have ever seen and I can’t wait to get the memory of it out of my mind. It is sad, boring, overly long and it has one of the most stupid and absurd endings I have ever seen. It is simply ridiculous and infuriating. A very bad movie and one that I can honestly say you should skip. Your time is far too important…

The story is nothing out of the ordinary, it is a typical drama, nothing we have not seen before. There are some interesting twists and turns and I was actually surprised towards the end, but still, nothing that I haven’t seen before and nothing that I feel the need to remember. It is a basic story about evil people and if you like senseless fighting shot realistically (as in bad), you are sure to get plenty of that here. Everything is very gritty, the visuals are muddy and the last part is basically an extended torture session that has absolutely no redeeming qualities.

The characters are the only really god thing about this movie. You can feel the pain, you can feel the grit and struggling of each and every one of them, you can identify with some and you can fully hate others. In terms of acting, the movie duly delivers, and the performances are stellar, absolutely stellar. Vince Vaughn especially does an amazing job as the main character, and he is supported to perfection by Jennifer Carpenter, Don Johnson, Udo Kier, Marc Blucas, Mustafa Shakir, Thomas Guiry, Dion Mucciacito, Geno Segers, Willie C. Carpenter and Fred Melamed.

As a documentary about what it means to go to prison, this movie is amazing. It shows you exactly how the life is inside and how many hurdles the ones that are sent there have to overcome. Still, all of it is told at such a slow pace, and in such a way that it becomes so tedious, especially during the first and middle acts. It does not manage to gain any sort of pace and you end up just wanting it to be over already. You don’t care about what happens to the characters, you don’t care about where they end up, and considering that there are amazing scenes here and there, it really sucks that the finished product is not up to that level.

It is BORING, it is one of the most boring movies I have ever saw, and that is really a shame considering that the story could have been really interesting. I personally love movies about prisons, I find those micro universes amazing and I was expecting to be amazed by this one. Don’t get me wrong, some of the moments are worth your time, but they are far in between and to get to them, you have to suffer through long and drawn out scenes that really take out all the possible enjoyment out of the film.

In conclusion, I really don’t know what to say about Brawl in Cell Block 99. If you like long movies that simply show you the harsh and crude reality, you might actually enjoy it. To me, it was filled with too much filler and way too much like a documentary in the first part. And don’t get me wrong, I like documentaries, but that was not what I was signing up when I decided to see this. It could have been far better since the subject is interesting and the actors are well chosen, but, alas, it was not to be. A huge disappointment for me. And seriously, how can you have a movie that has no music, how… It’s not like I’m the one in prison am I? :)))

The Greatest Showman – 2017

Score: 5,5/10

My God this is a weird one, a very very weird one. The singing in The Greatest Showman is amazing, one of the best I have seen in a musical, but unfortunately everything else is bad, boring, and it transforms the film into an atrocious experience. It is predictable, impossible to relate too and far too politically correct. I had greater expectations from this one and I can honestly say that I am very disappointed by it.

The story is weak, romanticized and focusing on all the wrong aspects. The movie is actually based on the real life of P T Barnum, but it tries to make him into something that he was not, and that hurts the overall feeling that you get while watching this. It is very easy to realize that a lot of things are fake and thus you can’t relate with the things happening on screen, because they don’t happen like this in real life.

The characters are interesting, but they are not well developed. In fact, I couldn’t care at all for anybody in this film, because they didn’t seem real to me. Because the songs take up so much of the running time, you don’t get a chance to actually get to know a character and thus you can’t get invested in their actions. That is truly unfortunate, because all of the actors do a good job here. With a better story, performances from Hugh Jackman, Ellis Rubin, Ziv Zaifman, Zac Efron, Michelle Williams, Skylar Dunn, Rebecca Ferguson, Loren Allred, Zendaya, Keala Settle, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, Natasha Liu Bordizzo and Paul Sparks would have been far more appealing to audiences and critics alike.

Too much political correctness, this is the main problem of this movie. It tries so hard to transmit a message that, in the context of society today, is far too complicated and ridiculously difficult to stuff in a two hour film. Please Hollywood, stop trying to cram liberalism down our throats in this manner, you are getting the exact opposite result. We get it, you are all about rights and minorities and stuff like that right now, but that doesn’t mean that every single movie has to be about this. P T Barnum didn’t open the circus because he wanted to give the freaks of society a second chance, he just wanted to make a lot of money, so stop romanticizing everything just to fit your current agenda, it’s stupid and actually disrespectful towards your viewers!

The songs are amazing, the best thing about this movie, by far. Every single one of them is a joy to watch and to hear. On this front, the film did it, and did it very well. They are light, optimistic, powerful and they manage to really make you feel a part of that world. Unfortunately, there are too many of them crammed in together, and thus they kind of dilute. I actually reached a point towards the last part of the movie when every new song was making me sigh. Why? Because I just wanted the bloody thing to end already and the plot to move forward, instead of sideways which is what songs here actually do…

In conclusion, The Greatest Showman is a very difficult movie to recommend to anyone, because it will bore you to death if you are the type of person that doesn’t just accept everything the liberals want to push. And if you are one of the liberals, unfortunately this movie will only make your stupid beliefs stronger, which is a very bad thing for the rest of us. So I really don’t know what to say here. The music is definitely worth it, so if you can stomach 105 minutes of forced and unnatural acceptance, then go for it. But just remember, the real world does not work like that… Thankfully…

The Hateful Eight – 2015

Score: 8/10

I can’t say I am a big fan of Quentin Tarantino. I have never been and I most certainly have a lot of problems with many of his movies. So I have to say that I went into this a little bit biased. But The Hateful Eight managed to change my mind and I ended up loving it. It is harder to see than most films, but if you manage to get to the end and think about it afterwards, you will discover that the experience was totally worth it. I would see it again and that alone says a lot about the inner quality of it.

The story is a little bit convoluted, but you can expect that already from a Tarantino movie. Nevertheless, it is interesting, it has twists and it manages to keep you alert. This is a great movie for someone who likes to talk and most importantly for someone who likes to discover people through the small things they say and the idiosyncrasies they display. The dialogue is carefully constructed and there are almost no continuity errors here. A great story, and a unique one at that, which is not easy to do!

The characters are amazing, beautifully created and highly relatable. You really feel you are in the Old West and you can’t help but root for not one, but almost all of them. It is amazing to see such a talented cast at work, and the names here will leave you speechless. It is one of the most impressive casts I have ever seen, and I have to commend performances from Samuel L. Jackson, Kurt Russell, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Walton Goggins, Demián Bichir, Tim Roth, Michael Madsen, Bruce Dern, James Parks, Dana Gourrier and Zoë Bell.

The overall style of the movie is typical Tarantino. A small and almost impossible to identify silver line and a lot of hidden symbols that you have to understand in order to enjoy the experience fully. And here is my problem with this movie. Because of his style, Tarantino manages to make his films feel longer than they actually are. It is the same case here, because on a first viewing, I was almost pushed to the limit. You could argue that is because the 168 minutes running time, but I really think it’s the way everything is shot, with a lot of pauses and a lot of “art”. Too much art can hurt a movie and destroy your immersion, and I really hope Tarantino will stop doing this in the future.

The music, oh my God the music. It is by far the best thing about this movie, and although I was expecting something like this from a legendary composer like Ennio Morricone, I have to admit that he actually managed to surpass every single expectation I had. He is a true legend of cinema and any movie in the world would be enhanced by his atypical and powerful scores. It is a joy from start to finish, and especially in the open credits, the cross scene will leave you breathless… Simply breathless…

In conclusion, The Hateful Eight is definitely a movie worth watching. It tries to be a classic western and it manages to be totally different from whatever you have seen before. It moves slowly but at the same time the action makes you jump from your seat in more instances than one. Overall, I would say that it is a unique experience, completed to perfection by the atmosphere that Tarantino creates, by the amazing musical score from Ennio Morricone and by the spectacular performances of a stellar cast. Oh, and the constant swearing and racism is simply adorable. Now who doesn’t love listening to over 200 hundred swear words in one single movie? 😀

The Shape of Water – 2017

Score: 8/10

Guillermo del Toro is a brilliant director and every single one of his movies is like a fairy tale. Nobody can deny that, and The Shape of Water does not disappoint in that regard. Its scope is epic, the narrative goes from high to low in a brink of an eye and overall, they movie will move you and will make you think regardless of who you are. It is about love, it is about power, and it is about how people that feel differently can still find a place for themselves, even if they have to give up everything in order to do it.

The story is interesting, novel, and it makes you pay attention. There is nudity here, actually some of the best scenes of nudity I have seen all year, and the relationship that forms between the girl and the creature seems believable. Nothing is forced, things progress at a normal pace and you can’t help yourself, you get involved, you care about the characters and about how the feelings between them grow. It is a modern fairy tale and it manages to make you want to hold someone in your arms.

The characters are the strongest part of the film. Every single one of the actors brings forward a stellar performance and everyone seems at ease in this world. It is a well casted movie and the performances of the lead actors are some of the best I have ever seen in a del Toro movie to date. Sally Hawkins, Michael Shannon, Richard Jenkins, Octavia Spencer, Michael Stuhlbarg, Doug Jones, David Hewlett, Nick Searcy, Stewart Arnott, Nigel Bennett and Lauren Lee Smith truly deserve all the praise they get for this one.

The visuals are dark, gritty, typical for del Toro. They help set the tone for certain scenes, as they go hand in hand with what the characters are saying and experiencing. I did have trouble at times because the lighting effects suffer in places, but overall, I have to say that this movie is beautifully shot and I expect there will not be many out there who contradict me on that. You feel the sensation of abandonment and inevitability in the beginning and you feel the power of a new existence starting in the end.

The problem with this movie is that it is too long, far too long and because of that, the action gets very stale and boring, especially towards the end. Yes, the story and the characters are great, but towards the end you know what will happen and everything seems to just uselessly delay the inevitable conclusion. It’s like the movie had to be 20 minutes longer for some unknown reason and it really hurt my immersion and made me want to just see it finish already, regardless of how. And that is not a good thing for a movie like this.

In conclusion, The Shape of Water is a must see. Even if you will end up hating it with all your being, it is still a movie that you have to see because it is one that will remain in history, regardless of how many Oscars it manages to bring home from its 13 nominations. It is a powerful movie, it is a movie about love and the power that people have to transcend their differences and connect on a molecular level. Yes, it is too long, yes it is preachy from time to time, but overall, it truly deserves your time and it will make you meditate about life in general and about yourself in particular… I’m gonna go eat some fish now…